A Story of Adoption continued...chapter 4
I am sorry I have not kept up with the story over the last few months. With a 4 yr old and a home based business I have not had the time.
I want to preface my story by saying that the views and opinions I express in my story are based on my own personal experiences with adoption. I realize that there are many different emotions and opinions surrounding adoptions ~ from all ends. This is just my story!
During the time I was searching I was working in a pub. Many of the "regulars" from the bar and all of the staff knew about my search. Many of them on a daily basis would ask for updates. One gentleman in particular ~who I had talked to on many occasions about it~ came to me one day and said "Alli, when you find her I would like to get you a ticket to go out west to meet her"
Through his job he travelled extensively and had earned more airmiles than he was able to use. His gift to me was to get me a flight out to Edmonton with his airmiles points.
There was so much support and excitement from everyone it seemed.
So there I was, working till 5pm everyday and running home at the end of each day to sit by my phone. I was willing to dedicate 4 nights to waiting!
The Wednesday night came and went.......Thursday night came and went....Friday night comes...it's about 11pm and my Husband and I were ready to go to bed.
The phone rings....long distance (the phone had a double ring when the call was long distance) and I looked at my husband and said "this is it....this is her..."
I remember picking up the phone ~my husband not 2 feet away from me~ and saying "Hello" in this quiet and almost unsure way....
From the other end I hear "Is this Allison?"
"Yes" I replied
"It's me.....Mary Jean.....I'm your Mother"
I instantly had tears rolling down my face and dropped to the ground. My legs wouldn't hold me up. I looked up at my husband and he was crying. I mouthed to him "It's HER, it's my Mother"
and he was smiling and crying and with the utmost pride and excitiment he mouthed back "I know" with his hand on his heart.
I remember thinking that I needed to be sure. So I asked
"What is March 7th?"
"That's your Birthday and you are Allison Beth" I didn't include my middle name in the ad in the paper so I knew it had to be her.
Then she started to give me information about the Hospital I was born in and the name of the Doctor who delivered me. She knew the name of the lawyer too.....I didn't need anymore convincing.
That first conversation lasted for 3 hours. She went on to tell me how I had 2 sisters. Tania and Tasha.
It was a conversation mixed with a calm exchanging of questions and then tears....She began to tell me how she thought of me everyday and how she always prayed for me. Then she started to cry. She passed the phone to Tasha (Tania was out on a date that night) and we started to talk. She was nothing shy of so sweet and compassionate. She kept asking me if I was ok becasue I could not control my tears at times either. At points I was sobbing.
We asked each other questions about our jobs, friends, boyfriends etc...
I wrote all of it down on a piece of paper. I still have the paper.
At one point she put my "bio Mom" back on the phone so she could go to a payphone around the corner to call her sister Tania.
Tania, upon hearing the story, came home immediately with her date/boyfrind. We talked that night too.
Tania was also very sweet. Quieter and more reserved than Tasha.
My "Bio Mom" although her given name was Mary Jean she always went by Jeannie. So from this point on I will refer to her as that.
I will tell you a little about my sisters at the time I first talked to them.
Tasha was 24 years old and working in a hospital in Edmonton. She was single. She was still living at home with Jeannie at the time. Jeannies Husband (Tania and Tasha's father) had passed away from Cancer about 3 years prior (I am not completely sure when he passed but I think it was a few years before).
Tania was 26 ~a grade school teacher~ and had a steady boyfriend. She had her own apartment.
Both of the girls are very close with Jeannie.
After getting off the phone from our 3 hour conversation all I did was cry. I didn't sleep that night. Not one second of sleep and I didn't care. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to talk to her again. I still wanted to ask so many questions. The next day I called in sick to work and spent the day daydreaming about the "New Loves of my life"
The excitement was so overwhelming.
My friend Debbie came over the next day with a photo album that said "Pictures of Allison" on it. It was for me to fill and send to Jeannie. I will never forget how special that was of her to do.
After calling all my friends and family I called FTD and sent Jeannie and the girls a bouquet of flowers to celebrate our reunion.
All I wanted to do was call them and talk to them but I was so worried about scaring them off. I wasn't sure if they needed time to process it all.
I couln't help it, I called anyways. Tasha answered the phone and I said to her right away "If you guys aren't up for talking and you need some time I understand. But I couln't stop thinking about all of you today and was hoping we could talk"
Immediately she cut me off to say "Us too!! We didn't know if you would feel pressured if we called today" And from that point on I think we all talked almost every day for a while.
During my first couple of conversations with them we were all on our "best behavior."
We didn't swear or tell each other anything unappealing about ourselves. Just testing the waters. I said to Tasha one day "Do you guys NEVER swear?!"
She started to laugh....."we were wondering the same thing about you!"
"We were so afraid to say a bad word, we didn't want you to think our Mother raised us poorly!"
I think that was an icebreaking moment for us.
I will continue my story soon....thank you for reading, please feel free to leave comments!
Alli
I want to preface my story by saying that the views and opinions I express in my story are based on my own personal experiences with adoption. I realize that there are many different emotions and opinions surrounding adoptions ~ from all ends. This is just my story!
During the time I was searching I was working in a pub. Many of the "regulars" from the bar and all of the staff knew about my search. Many of them on a daily basis would ask for updates. One gentleman in particular ~who I had talked to on many occasions about it~ came to me one day and said "Alli, when you find her I would like to get you a ticket to go out west to meet her"
Through his job he travelled extensively and had earned more airmiles than he was able to use. His gift to me was to get me a flight out to Edmonton with his airmiles points.
There was so much support and excitement from everyone it seemed.
So there I was, working till 5pm everyday and running home at the end of each day to sit by my phone. I was willing to dedicate 4 nights to waiting!
The Wednesday night came and went.......Thursday night came and went....Friday night comes...it's about 11pm and my Husband and I were ready to go to bed.
The phone rings....long distance (the phone had a double ring when the call was long distance) and I looked at my husband and said "this is it....this is her..."
I remember picking up the phone ~my husband not 2 feet away from me~ and saying "Hello" in this quiet and almost unsure way....
From the other end I hear "Is this Allison?"
"Yes" I replied
"It's me.....Mary Jean.....I'm your Mother"
I instantly had tears rolling down my face and dropped to the ground. My legs wouldn't hold me up. I looked up at my husband and he was crying. I mouthed to him "It's HER, it's my Mother"
and he was smiling and crying and with the utmost pride and excitiment he mouthed back "I know" with his hand on his heart.
I remember thinking that I needed to be sure. So I asked
"What is March 7th?"
"That's your Birthday and you are Allison Beth" I didn't include my middle name in the ad in the paper so I knew it had to be her.
Then she started to give me information about the Hospital I was born in and the name of the Doctor who delivered me. She knew the name of the lawyer too.....I didn't need anymore convincing.
That first conversation lasted for 3 hours. She went on to tell me how I had 2 sisters. Tania and Tasha.
It was a conversation mixed with a calm exchanging of questions and then tears....She began to tell me how she thought of me everyday and how she always prayed for me. Then she started to cry. She passed the phone to Tasha (Tania was out on a date that night) and we started to talk. She was nothing shy of so sweet and compassionate. She kept asking me if I was ok becasue I could not control my tears at times either. At points I was sobbing.
We asked each other questions about our jobs, friends, boyfriends etc...
I wrote all of it down on a piece of paper. I still have the paper.
At one point she put my "bio Mom" back on the phone so she could go to a payphone around the corner to call her sister Tania.
Tania, upon hearing the story, came home immediately with her date/boyfrind. We talked that night too.
Tania was also very sweet. Quieter and more reserved than Tasha.
My "Bio Mom" although her given name was Mary Jean she always went by Jeannie. So from this point on I will refer to her as that.
I will tell you a little about my sisters at the time I first talked to them.
Tasha was 24 years old and working in a hospital in Edmonton. She was single. She was still living at home with Jeannie at the time. Jeannies Husband (Tania and Tasha's father) had passed away from Cancer about 3 years prior (I am not completely sure when he passed but I think it was a few years before).
Tania was 26 ~a grade school teacher~ and had a steady boyfriend. She had her own apartment.
Both of the girls are very close with Jeannie.
After getting off the phone from our 3 hour conversation all I did was cry. I didn't sleep that night. Not one second of sleep and I didn't care. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to talk to her again. I still wanted to ask so many questions. The next day I called in sick to work and spent the day daydreaming about the "New Loves of my life"
The excitement was so overwhelming.
My friend Debbie came over the next day with a photo album that said "Pictures of Allison" on it. It was for me to fill and send to Jeannie. I will never forget how special that was of her to do.
After calling all my friends and family I called FTD and sent Jeannie and the girls a bouquet of flowers to celebrate our reunion.
All I wanted to do was call them and talk to them but I was so worried about scaring them off. I wasn't sure if they needed time to process it all.
I couln't help it, I called anyways. Tasha answered the phone and I said to her right away "If you guys aren't up for talking and you need some time I understand. But I couln't stop thinking about all of you today and was hoping we could talk"
Immediately she cut me off to say "Us too!! We didn't know if you would feel pressured if we called today" And from that point on I think we all talked almost every day for a while.
During my first couple of conversations with them we were all on our "best behavior."
We didn't swear or tell each other anything unappealing about ourselves. Just testing the waters. I said to Tasha one day "Do you guys NEVER swear?!"
She started to laugh....."we were wondering the same thing about you!"
"We were so afraid to say a bad word, we didn't want you to think our Mother raised us poorly!"
I think that was an icebreaking moment for us.
I will continue my story soon....thank you for reading, please feel free to leave comments!
Alli
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