A Story of Adoption continued...chapter 2

....So here we are 11 months after receiving my letter saying they were starting my search. I had been waiting so anxiously when one day I got a call from the Adoption services saying they were nearing the completion of my search and wanted to make sure I still wanted to go through with it. OF COURSE!
They did not say much but I remember them telling me that they were'nt having a successful search. "Why?" I asked. It seems that my biological Mother lived out of Province and that there was not much in the file about her or the adoption.
They said that they were able to give me some "Non Identifying" information about her. This is what they said "Your biological Mother was born in a Western Province in Cananda, she is Anglican Prodistant, she signed my birth order and therefore was privy to my given name, my biological Father's name was in the file (which is rare, usually the Father is unknown or not listed as the Father) as well as the lawyers name who did the adoption. They also told me that her name was extremily common. "Infact" she said "Your Father's name is as equally uncommon as your Mother's name is common" Which really aroused my curiosity. I felt like for the first time I knew SOMETHING about her. Even though it was so little, it was so much to me. Now, they said they were going to complete my search and it should take about a month. I asked them "What if you don't find her?"
They put together several scenarios for me and gave me the possible outcome for each.
"If we find her we contact her and tell her you have requested to meet her. If she says yes then we arrange for you to meet. If she doesn't want to meet you then that's a dead end for you. We will not be able to give you any information and we will have to close the file. If she is deceased or cannot be found then we give you all the info we have aquired during our search."At that point I realized that there was a possibility that she might actually reject the idea of meeting me. What about all of my unanswered questions? What right would she have to deny me what is rightfully mine, my roots? I NEEDED to know where I came from. This was a soul necessity. When I considered the possibility of her denying me that I promised myself that I would make the biggest stink I could about it. I would have every newspaper I could find write an article about how this whole "Privacy Law" was completely unfair and only to protect the Mother who gave her child(children) up for adoption. These "CLOSED ADOPTION FILES" were not to protect the child, but the Mother. I waited that month out and then got a call from the agency. "I am sorry" the woman on the phone said, "we were unsuccessful in your search. Your Mother is from another Province and we do not have access to files outside of Ontario. What I can do now is give you all the information we have and you are free to continue your search on your own." She went on to tell me that many people are successful in doing there own searches. There are resource libraries and the internet, many ways for you to search.
So here was the information they gave me.
My Mother's name was "Mary Jean Davis," she was born in Edmonton on Feb.6th 1952.
They also gave me the lawyers name who handled the adoption. That was the bulk of it.
The first thing I did was find the lawyer and call him. As soon as I told him my name he knew who I was. He had so much to say and I remember our conversation vividly. He said that he represented both sides because my biological Mother did not have the alot of money. So my parents covered the cost for the lawyer. He said he remembered my adoption beacuse he had only handled 2 in his entire career and that mine was a particularily emotional one. He said that he had met my "bio Mom" (thats what I call her) and that she was "WHOLESOME." That was music to my ears. I could not have asked him to use a better word to describe her. He went on to tell me that he had brought me my first bottle of formula to the hospital after I was born. "She did not want to give you up" he said. I started to cry. I guess it never occured to me just how important that was for me to hear. Just knowing that I was wanted by her changed me. Some deep part of me was now at peace and I didn't even know I needed it. He went on to tell me how he hand delivered me to my parents in the parking lot of the Hospital (private adoptions back in the early 70's are very different than they are now) and that my parents borrowed my Grandfather's car and that they wore wigs. They were so concerned about my Bio Mom seeing them. Then I asked him what she looked like "She was really pretty" he said. I cried more....then I asked him if he could give me my file so I could contact her. "I gave the file to your parents years ago and do not have a copy" He and my parents were friends so he bent the rules for them. "But" he said, "Continue your search for her beacuse she will want to meet you, that I know for sure."
That was so reasurring because I worried that if she knew I was looking for her before I found her then she could make it impossible for me to find her. I was so affraid of being rejected by her.
Now I had the reassurance I needed to continue the search. But there were still fears. What or Who will I find? Will she be kind? Will she have expectations of me? What if I am a disappointment to her in some way? All these fears and concerns were now a part of it.
So now my own personal search began. It was tough, so many avenues to go down. So many places to search with no guarantees of finding anything. It didn't help that there were 312 Davis' listed in the Edmonton whitepages.
The next part of my story will be about my search. I am hoping that this story has peeked peoples interest. It gets good so stay tuned!
Thanks for reading!